Candid Canda

The story of what has happened in my past does not change.  But the power I give to it has changed.   I have stopped justifying the anger because life is much happier with resentment and the time spent in trying to remember the details.  Unfortunately, sometimes events from the past have a mind of their own.  Maybe there are people who make it difficult for your to forget your past and move on.  Memories keep recirculating when all you want is for them to disappear!  It is not easy to take responsibility for your own happiness but when you do, what is revealed is happiness and peace. When you think about it, the past isn't really about the past.  Memories of events are thoughts that are occurring in the now, the present.  Anger or hurt about the past happens now.  It is how you present the moment experience that keeps the past alive. What is amazing about this understanding is that the way out of suffering is your attitude about the present.  Healing from the past means tha

We have been discussing how it is not easy to be a bully.  As the last weeks have progressed and we have experienced more and more of the hostility of a bully, we have found that a bully doesn't want to be bullied.  Often they bully so they won't be bullied and choosing what seems to be the weakest.   Of course, the fear of a bully is meeting her match.  For many months, I was told to ignore this particular bully but she was insistent.  What if the person she picks on decides to fight back or make her look bad?  This is why she often has an entourage; a support group to encourage and be miserable with.  I had to laugh just today at the comments made.  When my blogs are read, and maybe the truth hurts, retaliation with innuendos and falsehoods are generated.  I have a friend that is dealing with her bully so my blogs are about adult bullies in general no one in particular.   One interesting aspect of an adult bully is that they are actually being bullied themselves somewh

You may not have heard alot about Adult Bullying , but it is becoming a serious problem.  If you have kept up with my blogs, you have read some of my experiences with my woman adult bully.  Yes, an adult, and should know better.  One thing to remember is that as people mature and progress through life, they learn to stop such behaviors in their youth.  Sadly, some adult bullies are just children bullies who have grown up.  While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, it is still adult bullying just the same! Our Adult Bully has been a blessing to us!  It is surprising what makes her "tick".  And I have learned a few secrets about her that have helped us understand her sadness and loneliness.  Other emotional issues are involved but it should never be an absolute excuse for cruelty and bad behavior towards others.  It is like keeping your dog on a chain and enticing it to freedom! Remember, it is not easy being a bully !  Th

There is a story that goes  ..  A man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. When he did, the snake bit him causing excruciating pain. The man dropped the s nake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire.  So, the man grabbed a metal pole took the snake out of the fire and saved its life.  Someone who was watching approached the man and said: “That snake bit you. Why are you still trying to save it?” The man replied, “The nature of the snake is to bite, but that's not gonna change my nature, which is to help.” Moral of the Story :  Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your good heart, only learn to take precautions. When it comes to being bullied, the same kind of care is applied.  I have survived the worst of the worst; our bully called and wrote our employment, wrote our family members, publicly humiliated via the internet, built website after website, and taunted and teased that we wo

The past few days have been crazy days.  My poor husband has been up and down and down again in his health.  Between an ER and doctor visit, it has been busy.  These are the type of days that can be discouraging.  Whether it is a negative coworker, an exhausting friendship, or a challenging family member, there are times when we just want to give up on people and feel as though all of our love and patience has run out.  My husband did not fall into this category of discouragement and despair, but there were a few others that did.  There is that obstacle of loving people who are hard to love.  I believe in these circumstances we need to be reminded of the truth, of the reality that we have access to a love that is always giving, selfless, real, and true. Our ability to love is a heart issue.  We have to realize that there are times that we may have the completely wrong definition of love.  To have true love is action, it takes courage and vulnerability.  It is a giving

Today I was "counting my blessings" and writing them down in my gratitude journal.  I do this about 4:30am and before starting the chores.  It is true that happy people choose to focus on the positive parts of their lives.  I set specific reason to be grateful.  One day, after I am gone, my children will read the journals and rejoice, that even in the times that were hard, Mom always was grateful for the blessings, no matter how small. I think one of the most important aspects to choosing happiness is your smile.  Smiling is infectious.  More than that, it is a known fact that making a smiley face carries influence over feelings.  Today was a good day to smile; it is a good doctor's report for my husband. So I am programming my self to experience happiness by making a commitment to smile.  And, today, walking around the grocery store, I had people smile back! Self-talk is important in the gratitude process.  Daily affirmations can become your best friend.  After al

We spent the day interviewing with a journalist from CBS.  We will be featured in a special documentary in regards to adults and cyber bullying.  This is becoming more and more an issue in today's social media climate.  As we began to discuss the events that have unfolded over the years, we understand more of what we have gone through and wrote down a few ideas for healing. We have come to not blame ourselves for the attack upon us.  We should never feel ashamed of being the victim of any kind of bullying.  Always remember that it was not our fault.  The bully took it upon herself to cause damage.  No matter what she does or says, I am not ashamed of who I am. An important part of healing from a cyber bully is to be patient with myself.  Healing is an undertaking and everyone recovers in their own time.  I have to remember to allow myself time and space and to feel all of my emotions; grief, anger, or frustration.  It has become important to strengthen

A large packet was delivered to us and within its pages, a life revealed.  Of course, it gave closure.  What I have been accused of, she had done before me, and she has done horrible things that I have never done.  It is true that we all have skeletons and that they can be revealed at any time.  What is different between her and I is that I will not post them for public view to embarrass or humiliate.   This is the difference between being beautiful and being a bully. This morning was a morning filled with smiles and laughter.  Wonderful women who have made sacrifices, lost husbands, lost children, and survived great trials.   And still smiling.  And still laughing.  Because each moment is seen in beauty.  Today, I treasure those moments and they became an example to me that life is beautiful.  Maybe that is why I love working in my yard, in my home, in our fields, and with our animals.  All of these things promote beauty.  It takes care, perseverance, and co