Candid Canda

  Have you ever been around someone who "skirts around the truth"? They don't have the courage to speak or write the truth so they "skirt around the truth" and blame it on someone else. It is the person who plays the victim with the angry outburts and suffers from depression, even admits to it. Every bad thing in the world has happened to them. They are self-absorbed in a strange, negative way. Nothing is really their fault. In one of my classes, we have been a personality construct that is termed as "Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood" or TIV. TIV is defined as an "enduring feeling that the self is a victim across different kinds of interpersonal relationships" of which there are several core components, including: Need for Recognition: I have an experience where a woman I know of has a high level of need for her victimization to be seen and recognized by others; social media, letters, telephone, emails, etc. Moral Elitism: Seei...

  I had a relative of my stalker who sent me a public post written by her. I know she is referring to me and I am not embarassed in the slightest. I have developed great courage, perseverence, and faith in her actions and how I do not want to be. I am taking care of a disabled husband and work hard to care for him and our properties. I love that she inspires me to be a better person today than yesterday. Her hatefulness, her mental illness (proclaimed by her), and her fake persona is easily seen through and through. "If you run up a bill with an attorney, and then file bankruptcy against the attorney!!!! So you don’t have to pay him/her!!!! Is he/she still your attorney? Asking for a “sister in Christ”. Let's set the story straight; how I pay my bills is my business. She has no idea what happened to us during the time my husband was in hospice because she did not make an attempt to care for her dying husband. She did not work two and three jobs to care for him because she was ...

  Difficult people are everywhere, like it or not. It’s pretty certain that at some point in your life, you’ll come across a challenging person and will have to find a way to deal with them. It would be easy to think, “Why bother?” if being around them causes you hurt and grief. But it’s not as easy as that. Sometimes we’re just forced into situations we have little control over. Being related is one such circumstance. In fact, family members are often the hardest to deal with, because they’re connected to us in a more complicated, intimate way. With difficult acquaintances like friends, colleagues, lovers, or neighbors, you may have to deal with them for a time, either until a conflict between you is resolved, or you are able to remove yourself from the situation. With family, we are almost obligated to go the extra mile for the sake of the integrity of the family group. In other words, personal relationships may affect the family as a whole. If you don’t get along with a family...

Being stalked can be paralyzingly frightening. Victims aren’t traumatized just once; they’re perpetually unsettled by attempts at contact and often begin to feel like there’s no safe place to go.  The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that about three million people are stalked every year, most by people they know and often a former intimate partner. As many as 10% of stalking victims fear for their lives, and all victims face massive disruptions to their routines. While stalking, like domestic violence, has been around for generations, it has been only in recent years that the issue has been taken seriously, and many victims may be hesitant to seek help. I have learned that misery loves company and abusers are attracted to other abusers.  In this, I take peace.  It is not my issues but theirs. At its core, stalking consists of repeated attempts to gain control over or terrorize someone. Stalking exists on a continuum. On the lower end, it might involve...