Candid Canda

I love watching the sunrise.  Our world is covered in snow and the sun’s rays glitter across the beautiful fields and colors our surroundings.  It warms my heart and brightens my day! This past week has been a week of realization and courage.  I have had to downplay my thoughts that this is not a world of second changes.  Whatever mistakes that one makes far reach more than the successes.   The mistakes travel far and reaching like a snowball gaining speed on a downhill travel.  Facts are exaggerated, revenge is stated, and the stories become as large as the snowball gaining speed on its downward spiral. Why are there people who wish to squelch one’s desire to move ahead, improve emotionally and intellectually?   Jealously, revenge, self-betrayal?   I was taunted to move ahead in my career and I did.  Yet, a coward decided to contact my new employment and degrade me to my superiors.   Of course, anonymous is a t...

I work in a school that is in session Monday through Thursday so I have Fridays to do as I wish.  Since the weather people stated that it would be a sunny, warm day, I was up early working in our yard.  The grass is beginning to get tall.  Before Winter of last year, we had the entire (1 acre) yard thatched and fertilized.  It has done its work.  Our yard will be beautiful!  I raked up old leaves and dead branches, tilled two flower beds, tilled an area where our peppers, onions, and tomatoes are being planted and stacked more firewood from a tree that had to be taken down.  I had all of this accomplished by the afternoon and made supper for my family. Each of us have a defined purpose.  We learn to develop and use our talents, resources, abilities and passions to held us decide what our purpose is.  We may stray a bit and make mistakes along the way but it is our journey alone.  When a mean person injects themselve...

It is natural for people to seek validation.  How we achieve that sense of validation differs from one person to another.  We all constantly battle with the feeling that we are not good enough and we may feel unappreciated.  I believe the feeling of insecurity that accompanies such state of mind is almost universal and may happen more when one is young.  Some people attempt to rectify that feeling of insecurity by being vocal about their accomplishments. There is something magical about human communications.  We can vocalize our thoughts and make them tangible and part of the collective memory.  We "brag" about ourselves because we subconsciously seek to create a certain image of ourselves in the mind of the audience which aligns with our own sense of self worth.  For many of us, our accomplishments have no value unless it seems to impress our peers.  It is just an attempt to be sure to make ourselves relevant and indispensable....

Why does our bully bully?  Why does she continue in her quest of cyber bullying?  It happens for the same reason as any other type of bullying. It is appealing to her because it can be done from a distance.  She is a coward and refuses to face me one-on-one.  She wants her social fringe of notoriety and fame.  She has to convince persons of what she really is not because hurting others makes her feel all powerful and helps her cope with her low self-esteem and to fit in with persons that would otherwise not have her in their lives.  She has no empathy and respectability is a word that she can only write but not live.  Her actions are a portrayal of her hurt and illness.  We understand that she can do jo better than where she is at. She can be depressed and anxious.  She has issues with controlling her emotions, impulses, and refuses to follow rules.  She refuses to face me because hiding behind a computer screen requires...

After her posts of today, I realize that she is nothing more than hot air, the attention-seeker, because s he can no longer do the damage or emotional pain that she once did.  There are a few characteristics that I have noticed in her posts; her claims of victimology, her unravelings, her mental attempt to validate bad behavior.  It has been become comical in nature; her "ownership" of me. Our adult bully's motivation is to be the center of attention.  She claims that her blog hosts 450,000 followers.  Exaggeration but her mindet is to be a control freak, to manipulate, a form of narcissism.  Her malice level when held accountable is very high and she even attempts at feeble death threats. We have found her to be the following: Emotionally immature. Selectively friendly; is sickly sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others, and ignores the rest. She is cold and agressive towards anyone who sees them for what they areally are or e...

I love making recipes from scratch .. Isn't this the way that we start a new day?  From scratch; from the very beginning, a new chapter, a new story, the movement forward a clear path.  What happens when other persons do not allow for a new day, a new way, second chances? Adult bullies love to reveal the shortcomings and mistakes of others.  It seems to make them feel superior.  It can make one uncomfortable if they let it.   Remember, being bullied by an adult is not like a bully in middle school slapping the books out of your hand or tripping you in the hallway.  An adult bully is calculating and cruel.  Our adult bully has been on her life-long journey to humiliate, embarrass, harass, victimize, and the list of words can go on.  She <giggles> at the misfortune of others; not just me but those she thinks breaks the law.  Little known is her struggles with law enforcement and the justice system.  Ka...

This is a blog post that was stolen by my cyber stalker from Google.  She used my personal information to convince them that she was me .. To date, she still tells the world that she owns the blog and my writing.  This is what she does and her behavior.  It is okay; she simply cannot help herself.  She calls me "Hortence" in her writings in order to try and not violate an injunction against her.  Except From CandidCanda .. Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does .. Just because a belief is a belief that is sufficient enough for you to feel strong about, it does not mean that everyone around you will receive it. Think about all of the times that you have experienced in your life in which some people just refused to hear or try to understand what a person was saying that made absolute logical sense because they were more than likely thinking irrationally.  Thank you, dear stalker and bully, I am grateful that you will l...

I was reading an interesting article about female children who turned into adult women and continued to bully.  What happens as female bullies get older is that they become more sophisticated and they begin terrorizing one or others.  We found this to be particularly true as we found out the childhood horror stories of our adult woman bully.   If not in control of a situation, they can become outraged and violent.  We have experienced such rants and I am sure we will continue to do so.  As adults, we have full control over how we live our lives and the people we allow in our lives.  I have discovered that our woman bully is projecting her own insecurities on me.  For example, she told the public that she owns 8 homes in three states.  Yet, she cried to our attorney that she owns nothing.  In her divorce, she signed over an old mobile home attached to her former husband's home.  She claims to be self-employed and yet is to hol...

 It can be difficult to get past your adult bully.  Continual reminders can be everywhere along with the bully who continues in the battle.  This week we looked through pages of final draft as we move forward in the legal process once again.  Passive-aggressive behavior can manifest itself everywhere in online social media, texting video, email, and on-line discussions.  Identity theft is prevalent in our case and will be easy to showcase in court.  Anna Maria Chavez wrote, "Cyber bullies do not need physical access to their victims to do unimaginable harm". Bullies are common in their physical, mental, and/or emotional abuse.  Unless we set strong and effective boundaries, the bully will continue and intensify the abuse.  Getting past the adult bully can take time and great effort. Someone who hates you normally hates your for one of three reasons; they see you as a threat (she wanted a man that, at the time, she could not have a...

The story of what has happened in my past does not change.  But the power I give to it has changed.   I have stopped justifying the anger because life is much happier with resentment and the time spent in trying to remember the details.  Unfortunately, sometimes events from the past have a mind of their own.  Maybe there are people who make it difficult for your to forget your past and move on.  Memories keep recirculating when all you want is for them to disappear!  It is not easy to take responsibility for your own happiness but when you do, what is revealed is happiness and peace. When you think about it, the past isn't really about the past.  Memories of events are thoughts that are occurring in the now, the present.  Anger or hurt about the past happens now.  It is how you present the moment experience that keeps the past alive. What is amazing about this understanding is that the way out of suffering is your attitude about ...

We have been discussing how it is not easy to be a bully.  As the last weeks have progressed and we have experienced more and more of the hostility of a bully, we have found that a bully doesn't want to be bullied.  Often they bully so they won't be bullied and choosing what seems to be the weakest.   Of course, the fear of a bully is meeting her match.  For many months, I was told to ignore this particular bully but she was insistent.  What if the person she picks on decides to fight back or make her look bad?  This is why she often has an entourage; a support group to encourage and be miserable with.  I had to laugh just today at the comments made.  When my blogs are read, and maybe the truth hurts, retaliation with innuendos and falsehoods are generated.  I have a friend that is dealing with her bully so my blogs are about adult bullies in general no one in particular.   One interesting aspect of an adult bully is that they are...

There is a story that goes  ..  A man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. When he did, the snake bit him causing excruciating pain. The man dropped the s nake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire.  So, the man grabbed a metal pole took the snake out of the fire and saved its life.  Someone who was watching approached the man and said: “That snake bit you. Why are you still trying to save it?” The man replied, “The nature of the snake is to bite, but that's not gonna change my nature, which is to help.” Moral of the Story :  Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your good heart, only learn to take precautions. When it comes to being bullied, the same kind of care is applied.  I have survived the worst of the worst; our bully called and wrote our employment, wrote our family members, publicly humiliated via the internet, built website after website, and taun...