Candid Canda

With the assistance of my incredible husband, I have converted our basement area into a painting studio.  I used to oil, acrylic, and water paint when I was younger.  I have joined a painting class and it has provided for great opportunity in relaxation and definition.  In material science, resilience is the ability of a material to absorb energy when it is deformed elastically, and release that energy upon unloading. Proof resilience is defined as the maximum energy that can be absorbed up to the elastic limit, without creating a permanent distortion. The modulus of resilience is defined as the maximum energy that can be absorbed per unit volume without creating a permanent distortion.   The past two weeks have proved interesting.  Due to the corona virus and certain cowards/bullies within the realms of my life, I was dismissed by my employment.  I have found it to be a blessing as within the week I acquired another employment with incredibl...

Shared family secrets are pieces of information known within the family but forbidden to outsiders. Some of these pieces of information, as in the case of family traditions and inside jokes, actually increase closeness and cohesion by creating an internal culture that feels special. That said, shared family secrets are also more likely to center on taboo topics, such as abuse within the family, a family member’s incarceration, or the presence of alcoholism.  My mother was a good person for this kind of behavior and as I study more in school, the more apparent this behavior is to me.   My secrets were always revealed publicly but the secrets of my brothers always kept hush-hush with threats to me if they were revealed.  Perhaps it is time for them to be revealed! This past week has been amazing!  An incredible new opportunity with amazing people!  You see, resilience is an phenomenal characteristic and I have it.  My sister-in-law did not succeed...

What a beautiful morning!  The sun was just coming up as my puppies and I walked our long canal that winds around out home.  Made lunches for my husband and I for work and out the door!  How are you handling our crisis in the world today? Thankfully we are the few blessed souls that still actually goin into a job. An individual secret is a secret kept by one person from the rest of the family and includes things like hiding a romantic relationship.  It could be a spouse's extramarital affair or a family member maxing our credit cards.  Individual secrets tend to center on a member hiding a rule violation.  Individuals bide these violations to avoid consequences and possibly protect others from the pain of the secret and the fact of the violation.   Individual secrets can lead to immense anxiety within the family,  The secret holder may feel anxious about being found out and the rest of the family can feel that something is not right....

Families often keep under wraps the dirty secrets.  The persona of the perfect family in pictures and in public attempt to overshadow what really is going on behind the scenes.  What happens when secrets are revealed can cause hurt, confusion and betrayal.  How do we navigate the emotional territory between openness and privacy, closeness and individuality?  These past months have given me an opportunity to explore the family secrets.  I have learned that a sister-in-law has felt enlightened to share (what she believes) be the dirty secrets of my life.  Most aren't even true; some are but did not need to be revealed.  What if her most intimate secrets were shared?  What if her children were embarrassed by what they learn and now public.  Do my brothers know what is being passed around and if they do, they are accessories to cowardness and the bullying frenzy!   My children know everything because keeping secrets from child...

I love watching the sunrise.  Our world is covered in snow and the sun’s rays glitter across the beautiful fields and colors our surroundings.  It warms my heart and brightens my day! This past week has been a week of realization and courage.  I have had to downplay my thoughts that this is not a world of second changes.  Whatever mistakes that one makes far reach more than the successes.   The mistakes travel far and reaching like a snowball gaining speed on a downhill travel.  Facts are exaggerated, revenge is stated, and the stories become as large as the snowball gaining speed on its downward spiral. Why are there people who wish to squelch one’s desire to move ahead, improve emotionally and intellectually?   Jealously, revenge, self-betrayal?   I was taunted to move ahead in my career and I did.  Yet, a coward decided to contact my new employment and degrade me to my superiors.   Of course, anonymous is a t...

Over the past months, I have had serious conversations with persons who I have been close to for a long time.  Truth be told, they were tough conversations.  I have learned that even though I was told I was loved and appreciated, I was not by persons who should have had my back and who should have been true friends.  It was a ruse to use all that was known could be given and played upon my gentle and caring nature and abundance of talents that could save them the monies they needed to save for other persons thought to be more important. I have learned that there are signs and red flags that should have gone off.  I was told by my husband that there were there but I did not believe him because I believed in what I thought to be persons of decency, honesty, loyalty, family, and friend.  I know now that they cannot tolerate exposure, rejections, humiliations, criticism, or their skeletons of the past being revealed so it has to be turned on the person that...

Fixation is an obsessive interest in or feeling about someone or something.  We experience fixation every day by our cyber bully.  She is fixated on my life and me.  When bullying occurs, people often place the blame on the victim.  Most of the time they falsely believe that if the victim of bullying were somehow different, then bullying wouldn't happen. Bullying is never the target's fault.  They do not need to change or be different in some way to avoid being bullies.   Change is always the bully's responsibility. It can be true that there are some things that can help deter bullying like developing social skills and building self-esteem.  There is the harsh truth that anyone can become a victim of bullying.  There are a number of reasons why bullies target others. and I realize at this moment, none of the reason's are the victim's fault.  Our cyber publicly engages victim blaming and asserts that the victim is bullying h...