Candid Canda

Fixation is an obsessive interest in or feeling about someone or something.  We experience fixation every day by our cyber bully.  She is fixated on my life and me.  When bullying occurs, people often place the blame on the victim.  Most of the time they falsely believe that if the victim of bullying were somehow different, then bullying wouldn't happen. Bullying is never the target's fault.  They do not need to change or be different in some way to avoid being bullies.   Change is always the bully's responsibility. It can be true that there are some things that can help deter bullying like developing social skills and building self-esteem.  There is the harsh truth that anyone can become a victim of bullying.  There are a number of reasons why bullies target others. and I realize at this moment, none of the reason's are the victim's fault.  Our cyber publicly engages victim blaming and asserts that the victim is bullying her in some way.  Her pa

I work in a school that is in session Monday through Thursday so I have Fridays to do as I wish.  Since the weather people stated that it would be a sunny, warm day, I was up early working in our yard.  The grass is beginning to get tall.  Before Winter of last year, we had the entire (1 acre) yard thatched and fertilized.  It has done its work.  Our yard will be beautiful!  I raked up old leaves and dead branches, tilled two flower beds, tilled an area where our peppers, onions, and tomatoes are being planted and stacked more firewood from a tree that had to be taken down.  I had all of this accomplished by the afternoon and made supper for my family. Each of us have a defined purpose.  We learn to develop and use our talents, resources, abilities and passions to held us decide what our purpose is.  We may stray a bit and make mistakes along the way but it is our journey alone.  When a mean person injects themselves in our journey, it can be frustrating!  As I r

It is natural for people to seek validation.  How we achieve that sense of validation differs from one person to another.  We all constantly battle with the feeling that we are not good enough and we may feel unappreciated.  I believe the feeling of insecurity that accompanies such state of mind is almost universal and may happen more when one is young.  Some people attempt to rectify that feeling of insecurity by being vocal about their accomplishments. There is something magical about human communications.  We can vocalize our thoughts and make them tangible and part of the collective memory.  We "brag" about ourselves because we subconsciously seek to create a certain image of ourselves in the mind of the audience which aligns with our own sense of self worth.  For many of us, our accomplishments have no value unless it seems to impress our peers.  It is just an attempt to be sure to make ourselves relevant and indispensable.  This is a  basic human need

The word "taunt" means To reproach in a mocking, insulting, or contemptuous manner .  Today my woman bully (yes, an adult woman who should know better, used such words as: "People are funny on the internet. Things they would never do in public (where they could be confronted) they do online. My STALKER doesn't drive by my house, she doesn't go to the coffee shop and say some of the crap she does online, she doesn't disguise herself (create fake profiles) to lurk around, but her STALKING online is a daily mess. Online she brags about accomplishments she has never achieved, (she is so cool that sainthood might be in her future) and when nothing else works she attacks my grammar/spelling... And I have learned from her how to spell Temple... Prison... Triple MBA... Sociopath... Pathological Liar.. Split Personality... Convict... Perjury.. Stalker... See you tomorrow" I am very happy with the post.  Isn't it an amazing post?  Funny thi

Why does our bully bully?  Why does she continue in her quest of cyber bullying?  It happens for the same reason as any other type of bullying. It is appealing to her because it can be done from a distance.  She is a coward and refuses to face me one-on-one.  She wants her social fringe of notoriety and fame.  She has to convince persons of what she really is not because hurting others makes her feel all powerful and helps her cope with her low self-esteem and to fit in with persons that would otherwise not have her in their lives.  She has no empathy and respectability is a word that she can only write but not live.  Her actions are a portrayal of her hurt and illness.  We understand that she can do jo better than where she is at. She can be depressed and anxious.  She has issues with controlling her emotions, impulses, and refuses to follow rules.  She refuses to face me because hiding behind a computer screen requires less courage and provides an illusion that she

Today was a beautiful Saturday filled with love, laughter, and hard work.  Spring is here!  I have starts in my garage ready for the warmth of soil and the heat of the sun.  We have had to delay planting for a while due to cold temperatures and rain.  I arise early on Saturdays and start the laundry.  Beds need sheets changed, animals need kennel blankets washed, feed bowl and water bowls are run through the dishwasher to heat and sanitize, bathrooms to be cleaned, and vacuuming.  I love the feel of a clean home!  Clean stalls, clean water buckets, and grain bins refilled.  As I settled into some bookkeeping, I was reminded by a friend that my wonderful bully friend was busy at work on the internet. Women who project body hatred onto other women unknowingly encourage girls and woman who bully another.  I wonder what sort of example she is giving to others in her harassment and slander?  If I was her child, I would be embarrassed. Early in puberty, girls may begin t

You, with your switchin' sides, And your walk by lies and your humiliation You, have pointed at my flaws again, As if I don't already see them. I walk with my head down, Trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you ... ~ Taylor Swift When I hear this song, I think I am emotional because it tells of a kid succeeding despite difficulty. We have a bully, an adult woman who should know better. At first, we attempted avoidance in dealing with unkindness, ignore at all costs, helping she would go away. Sometimes this strategy is neither practical or effective. Fortunately, there are better responses and there are ways of coping against the attacks of a bully. It is important to control the responses when someone does or says something mean. We may not be able to control much of our life circumstance, but, with practice, we an control how we respond to those circumstances. Even though our bully appears high-functioning to the outside world, she

What is spiritual manipulation?  Spiritual manipulation is a technique used by abusive individuals to control others and acquire gain, all the while giving the impression that their teachings are based on the Bible.  Some persons, like our cyber bully, take scriptures out of context to persuade the uninformed that their interpretation is right, even to the extent that they alone have "the truth" and everyone else is wrong.   Some individuals manipulate scripture for their own personal benefit, to make themselves seem more than they are and they are righteous and approving.  I guess, obtaining a minister's license on the internet makes one a bible scholar! Bullies who use spiritual manipulation have always been around!  They are NOT HAPPY within their own lives unless they are fighting a battle.  They tend to maneuver to get preferred placement among their peers. Our cyber bully does not recognize herself as a bully.  Yet four banker boxes and large