How To Deal With Mean People


You, with your switchin' sides,
And your walk by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed at my flaws again,
As if I don't already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you ...
~ Taylor Swift

When I hear this song, I think I am emotional because it tells of a kid succeeding despite difficulty. We have a bully, an adult woman who should know better. At first, we attempted avoidance in dealing with unkindness, ignore at all costs, helping she would go away. Sometimes this strategy is neither practical or effective. Fortunately, there are better responses and there are ways of coping against the attacks of a bully. It is important to control the responses when someone does or says something mean. We may not be able to control much of our life circumstance, but, with practice, we an control how we respond to those circumstances. Even though our bully appears high-functioning to the outside world, she is unstable.  Her posts of degradation are sloppy, immature, and ugly.
Often we do not want to admit that we are hurt by another person's meanness; we want to let it go without letting it get to us. If we can do this, we are ahead! For awhile, I could. Her battle against us is relentless. We practice self-compassion; we see our bully for the wounded, tiny, and probably threatened. She is a frightened mouse masquerading as a roaring lion.
Fight the fire by sending out loving thoughts to the person or persons that hurt you. Saying a prayer for her makes us feel better and protected. After all, if she was free from her pain and agony, she would stop her harassment.  We do not need to be the doormat of her insecurities and pain.  The most effective response to meanness is compassion.  Where there is meanness, there is a lot of pain, both in the unkind person and for the person on the receiving end of the harassment.

This is my official sight. My other site by this same name was pirated by another person using false information. 
Her Name is #AnnetteKaye Bedwell and I would love
to have my site returned to me.
Please encourage her to do so .. 
Copyright @2019 wwwCandidCandaSpeaksOut.com

All rights reserved. This blog or any portion thereof may not be printed, copied, reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or similar cited with author's name and copyright.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Your Bully Doesn't Want You To Know About YOU ..

Image
You may not have heard alot about Adult Bullying , but it is becoming a serious problem.  If you have kept up with my blogs, you have read some of my experiences with my woman adult bully.  Yes, an adult, and should know better.  One thing to remember is that as people mature and progress through life, they learn to stop such behaviors in their youth.  Sadly, some adult bullies are just children bullies who have grown up.  While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, it is still adult bullying just the same! Our Adult Bully has been a blessing to us!  It is surprising what makes her "tick".  And I have learned a few secrets about her that have helped us understand her sadness and loneliness.  Other emotional issues are involved but it should never be an absolute excuse for cruelty and bad behavior towards others.  It is like keeping your dog on a chain and enticing it to freedom! Remember, it is not easy being a bully !  Th
Read more

Defining Love ..

Image
The past few days have been crazy days.  My poor husband has been up and down and down again in his health.  Between an ER and doctor visit, it has been busy.  These are the type of days that can be discouraging.  Whether it is a negative coworker, an exhausting friendship, or a challenging family member, there are times when we just want to give up on people and feel as though all of our love and patience has run out.  My husband did not fall into this category of discouragement and despair, but there were a few others that did.  There is that obstacle of loving people who are hard to love.  I believe in these circumstances we need to be reminded of the truth, of the reality that we have access to a love that is always giving, selfless, real, and true. Our ability to love is a heart issue.  We have to realize that there are times that we may have the completely wrong definition of love.  To have true love is action, it takes courage and vulnerability.  It is a giving
Read more

Spiritual Manipulation

Image
What is spiritual manipulation?  Spiritual manipulation is a technique used by abusive individuals to control others and acquire gain, all the while giving the impression that their teachings are based on the Bible.  Some persons, like our cyber bully, take scriptures out of context to persuade the uninformed that their interpretation is right, even to the extent that they alone have "the truth" and everyone else is wrong.   Some individuals manipulate scripture for their own personal benefit, to make themselves seem more than they are and they are righteous and approving.  I guess, obtaining a minister's license on the internet makes one a bible scholar! Bullies who use spiritual manipulation have always been around!  They are NOT HAPPY within their own lives unless they are fighting a battle.  They tend to maneuver to get preferred placement among their peers. Our cyber bully does not recognize herself as a bully.  Yet four banker boxes and large
Read more