Journal Post 9 Public Facade

 I read the funniest statement ... It happened to come through on my LinkedIn profile that I was updating. I am sure everyone is aware that it is easy to see who has looked at your profile. Lo and BEHOLD, there she was! My woman stalker! I didn't see it at first; a friend that was with me did and she was laughing so hard, she could barely point it out to me! ... AND JOHNNY SAYS HELLO ... On a professional page! How tacky is that! Little does she know that my husband was investigating Johnny long before her delusional interference. I am sure she would be surprised on the outcome was of the investigation.

Some time ago, a woman who lives in her area mentioned how she posted everything about her lovers, how many she had, and how they still adored her! We laughed over supper! If she was so adored, why isn't she with anyone of them, living alone in shabby conditions! Where is her man that loves her so deeply that he would care for her, be a spiritual helpmate, and make her his wife! And there is word for a woman with many lovers! AND it has been documented that she would leave her ill husband for other men!

I am sure many couples can relate as to how difficult marriage and relationships can be. Throw a chronic illness in the mix, and they can be even harder. I love being married though! And there’s no one else I’d rather have by my side than my husband. I got really lucky when he asked me to marry him. But it’s been more than just luck that’s made our marriage work. Any marriage takes work and sacrifice, but a marriage in which one of the partners is chronically ill can take extra work. Statistics report that divorce rates for couples with a chronically ill spouse are as high as 75%. It’s given me a different perspective on life. We don’t have things as easy as some people might in their relationships. It’s made me more appreciative of the little things that we share together. It’s also made me a more compassionate person and has softened my heart. I didn’t use to be as understanding as I am now. So, in that way, it’s made me a better person.

That’s an eye-opening statistic. And I don’t share it to scare any of my chronically ill readers. I bring it up to remind those of us with a chronic illness that it’s something to be mindful of in our relationships. It makes communication in a relationship that much more important. My woman stalker left her husband in the middle of his illness and did not even know that he had passed away. No matter how much my husband is in pain, no matter how much he yells at me, I would always make sure that he has a beautiful home, comfortable bed with clean linens, pressed laundry, and good food. It is estimated that over 100 million Americans live with a chronic condition or chronic pain. And for every one of those people, there’s someone out there who loves them. My devotion is to him, to make him as comfortable as possible, and let him know that he is loved. This is something that the "Johnny's" cannot bring to the table!

Obviously, those that do, do! And those that can't, have many lovers! As for me, I can have a happy and healthy relationship even when my husband has a chronic illness. It is absolutely possible. My life and relationship may look different than others, but it can still be a good life and we have a very strong relationship. With good communication and lots of understanding, you can make the most of a relationship in which one partner has a chronic condition. This is called keeping the covenant of marriage through the good and the not so good!