Candid Canda

Self - worth  is how you value yourself. It’s  not  based on what  others  think of you or the things you have (or haven’t) accomplished; it comes from within. But it’s easy to forget that our  worth   is n’t   determined  by outside forces. How we measure our worth affects the kind of life we live.  This has become profound in the events of my life over the past three months.  I would have never thought to be where I am now if I hadn't decided to reinvent how I feel about myself.  I had allowed others to demean and make me feel less than worthy because of mistakes and how they perceived my life should be.  Numbers no longer determine my value.  Places no longer determine my value.  Religion no longer determines my value. It is important to manifest in my own lane.  It is important to begin to care for yourself first and then extend as much as you can but not too much!  I have a to-do list which c...

Being stalked can be paralyzingly frightening. Victims aren’t traumatized just once; they’re perpetually unsettled by attempts at contact and often begin to feel like there’s no safe place to go.  The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that about three million people are stalked every year, most by people they know and often a former intimate partner. As many as 10% of stalking victims fear for their lives, and all victims face massive disruptions to their routines. While stalking, like domestic violence, has been around for generations, it has been only in recent years that the issue has been taken seriously, and many victims may be hesitant to seek help. I have learned that misery loves company and abusers are attracted to other abusers.  In this, I take peace.  It is not my issues but theirs. At its core, stalking consists of repeated attempts to gain control over or terrorize someone. Stalking exists on a continuum. On the lower end, it might involve...

With the assistance of my incredible husband, I have converted our basement area into a painting studio.  I used to oil, acrylic, and water paint when I was younger.  I have joined a painting class and it has provided for great opportunity in relaxation and definition.  In material science, resilience is the ability of a material to absorb energy when it is deformed elastically, and release that energy upon unloading. Proof resilience is defined as the maximum energy that can be absorbed up to the elastic limit, without creating a permanent distortion. The modulus of resilience is defined as the maximum energy that can be absorbed per unit volume without creating a permanent distortion.   The past two weeks have proved interesting.  Due to the corona virus and certain cowards/bullies within the realms of my life, I was dismissed by my employment.  I have found it to be a blessing as within the week I acquired another employment with incredibl...

Shared family secrets are pieces of information known within the family but forbidden to outsiders. Some of these pieces of information, as in the case of family traditions and inside jokes, actually increase closeness and cohesion by creating an internal culture that feels special. That said, shared family secrets are also more likely to center on taboo topics, such as abuse within the family, a family member’s incarceration, or the presence of alcoholism.  My mother was a good person for this kind of behavior and as I study more in school, the more apparent this behavior is to me.   My secrets were always revealed publicly but the secrets of my brothers always kept hush-hush with threats to me if they were revealed.  Perhaps it is time for them to be revealed! This past week has been amazing!  An incredible new opportunity with amazing people!  You see, resilience is an phenomenal characteristic and I have it.  My sister-in-law did not succeed...

What a beautiful morning!  The sun was just coming up as my puppies and I walked our long canal that winds around out home.  Made lunches for my husband and I for work and out the door!  How are you handling our crisis in the world today? Thankfully we are the few blessed souls that still actually goin into a job. An individual secret is a secret kept by one person from the rest of the family and includes things like hiding a romantic relationship.  It could be a spouse's extramarital affair or a family member maxing our credit cards.  Individual secrets tend to center on a member hiding a rule violation.  Individuals bide these violations to avoid consequences and possibly protect others from the pain of the secret and the fact of the violation.   Individual secrets can lead to immense anxiety within the family,  The secret holder may feel anxious about being found out and the rest of the family can feel that something is not right....

Families often keep under wraps the dirty secrets.  The persona of the perfect family in pictures and in public attempt to overshadow what really is going on behind the scenes.  What happens when secrets are revealed can cause hurt, confusion and betrayal.  How do we navigate the emotional territory between openness and privacy, closeness and individuality?  These past months have given me an opportunity to explore the family secrets.  I have learned that a sister-in-law has felt enlightened to share (what she believes) be the dirty secrets of my life.  Most aren't even true; some are but did not need to be revealed.  What if her most intimate secrets were shared?  What if her children were embarrassed by what they learn and now public.  Do my brothers know what is being passed around and if they do, they are accessories to cowardness and the bullying frenzy!   My children know everything because keeping secrets from child...

I love watching the sunrise.  Our world is covered in snow and the sun’s rays glitter across the beautiful fields and colors our surroundings.  It warms my heart and brightens my day! This past week has been a week of realization and courage.  I have had to downplay my thoughts that this is not a world of second changes.  Whatever mistakes that one makes far reach more than the successes.   The mistakes travel far and reaching like a snowball gaining speed on a downhill travel.  Facts are exaggerated, revenge is stated, and the stories become as large as the snowball gaining speed on its downward spiral. Why are there people who wish to squelch one’s desire to move ahead, improve emotionally and intellectually?   Jealously, revenge, self-betrayal?   I was taunted to move ahead in my career and I did.  Yet, a coward decided to contact my new employment and degrade me to my superiors.   Of course, anonymous is a t...