Candid Canda

  Don’t let the good stuff go unsaid. Here’s why: Next year, your Thanksgiving may look completely different and there might not be as many chairs. Loved ones get sick. Loved ones get old. Loved ones move away. So, this year savor the sacred gathering. Share. Forgive, Remember. Beacause you can’t see the changes and surprises ahead. But you have this time. But you have these people. But you have this day. Say the thing your heart feels. Say the things their heart needs. Say the thing their heart needs. Because Thanksgiving is here. And we’ll never have another one like it .. Again. @LaurenForenberry That is a beautiful statement of what should be. It was for me. There is satisfaction in the husband, children, and home. I was able to be blessed with all three. This is my world and I am proud that I am a part of it. Yes, the neighbor across the way received Thanksgiving supper and leftovers to keep her for the week. A loved one that could not be at our table but loved nevertheless. T...

  Difficult people are everywhere, like it or not. It’s pretty certain that at some point in your life, you’ll come across a challenging person and will have to find a way to deal with them. It would be easy to think, “Why bother?” if being around them causes you hurt and grief. But it’s not as easy as that. Sometimes we’re just forced into situations we have little control over. Being related is one such circumstance. In fact, family members are often the hardest to deal with, because they’re connected to us in a more complicated, intimate way. With difficult acquaintances like friends, colleagues, lovers, or neighbors, you may have to deal with them for a time, either until a conflict between you is resolved, or you are able to remove yourself from the situation. With family, we are almost obligated to go the extra mile for the sake of the integrity of the family group. In other words, personal relationships may affect the family as a whole. If you don’t get along with a family...

  My husband and I watched a limited series this weekend entitled, Little Fires Everywhere . Peace and harmony may be the goal for most families, but dysfunction is common and insidious and arrives in many forms. Family quarrels, grudges, and estrangements can have lasting effects, sometimes following members into old age. When one family member contends with a problem such as mental illness or alcohol, the entire household is impacted. In a dysfunctional home, there is normally no sense of unity or empathy or boundaries, and members can be highly critical of one another. This is what happened in this series when the mother decided what was correct for all members of her family and not acknowledging that each person within the family unit is individual in thought, action, and deed. I realize after years and years of rationalization, my mother did not love me, let alone like me. My brothers did no wrong and received her love and devotion. The reason why some mothers hate their d...

Self - worth  is how you value yourself. It’s  not  based on what  others  think of you or the things you have (or haven’t) accomplished; it comes from within. But it’s easy to forget that our  worth   is n’t   determined  by outside forces. How we measure our worth affects the kind of life we live.  This has become profound in the events of my life over the past three months.  I would have never thought to be where I am now if I hadn't decided to reinvent how I feel about myself.  I had allowed others to demean and make me feel less than worthy because of mistakes and how they perceived my life should be.  Numbers no longer determine my value.  Places no longer determine my value.  Religion no longer determines my value. It is important to manifest in my own lane.  It is important to begin to care for yourself first and then extend as much as you can but not too much!  I have a to-do list which c...

Being stalked can be paralyzingly frightening. Victims aren’t traumatized just once; they’re perpetually unsettled by attempts at contact and often begin to feel like there’s no safe place to go.  The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that about three million people are stalked every year, most by people they know and often a former intimate partner. As many as 10% of stalking victims fear for their lives, and all victims face massive disruptions to their routines. While stalking, like domestic violence, has been around for generations, it has been only in recent years that the issue has been taken seriously, and many victims may be hesitant to seek help. I have learned that misery loves company and abusers are attracted to other abusers.  In this, I take peace.  It is not my issues but theirs. At its core, stalking consists of repeated attempts to gain control over or terrorize someone. Stalking exists on a continuum. On the lower end, it might involve...

With the assistance of my incredible husband, I have converted our basement area into a painting studio.  I used to oil, acrylic, and water paint when I was younger.  I have joined a painting class and it has provided for great opportunity in relaxation and definition.  In material science, resilience is the ability of a material to absorb energy when it is deformed elastically, and release that energy upon unloading. Proof resilience is defined as the maximum energy that can be absorbed up to the elastic limit, without creating a permanent distortion. The modulus of resilience is defined as the maximum energy that can be absorbed per unit volume without creating a permanent distortion.   The past two weeks have proved interesting.  Due to the corona virus and certain cowards/bullies within the realms of my life, I was dismissed by my employment.  I have found it to be a blessing as within the week I acquired another employment with incredibl...

Shared family secrets are pieces of information known within the family but forbidden to outsiders. Some of these pieces of information, as in the case of family traditions and inside jokes, actually increase closeness and cohesion by creating an internal culture that feels special. That said, shared family secrets are also more likely to center on taboo topics, such as abuse within the family, a family member’s incarceration, or the presence of alcoholism.  My mother was a good person for this kind of behavior and as I study more in school, the more apparent this behavior is to me.   My secrets were always revealed publicly but the secrets of my brothers always kept hush-hush with threats to me if they were revealed.  Perhaps it is time for them to be revealed! This past week has been amazing!  An incredible new opportunity with amazing people!  You see, resilience is an phenomenal characteristic and I have it.  My sister-in-law did not succeed...